IN EVERY CONFLICT THERE’S A KNOT
It’s not always obvious at first, but you can feel it – the tension, the stuckness, the loop of misunderstanding, the feeling you might be trapped in this conflict without a way out. Most people rush past this or avoid it
altogether. But if you want to lead with confidence and have long lasting relationships, you have to find the knot and stay with it long enough to untangle it.
HOW DO I UNTANGLE
THE CONFLICT?
NAME THE KNOT
The moment you notice tension, call it out – not aggressively, just honestly.
“This feels tangled right now.”
Naming it softens the moment. It drops defenses because you’re not blaming, you’re observing.
GET CURIOUS ABOUT THE THREADS
Knots are made of fear, assumptions, unspoken needs, and past experiences.
Ask simple, open questions:
- What do we both want here that’s not being named?
- Are we making assumptions that could use a second look?
Curiosity loosens the knot. Always.
MAKE IT A SHARED PROBLEM
Shift from “me vs. you” to “us vs. the knot.”Say it plainly: “It feels like we are both trying to figure this out. Let’s keep collaborating.”
This simple reframe changes the energy immediately.
CLOSING IDEAS…
STAY WITH IT
This is where most people quit – too
soon. But if you stay a little longer, gently pulling at the threads, the knots begin to loosen. You’ll feel it when it happens. Things flow again. Solutions show up naturally. Relationships strengthen.
When you become the person who looks for the knot instead of avoiding it, you build deep trust. You’re not just managing conflict – you’re transforming it.
And that’s the work of real leadership.
So…where’s your knot?
Need some help untangling your knots? I got you!